Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
I remember this on cable when it originally aired. I was 20-years-old and I was gay heaven watching this!
If I did not know I was gay then (which I was waking up to by then), I should have. This special was wonderful to watch and the bonus was a Diana Ross and Bette Midler impersonator.
It's called Just Found A Red Sock In The Laundry (While Washing My Ku klux Klan Sheet) featuring Ty Taylor
From the man who brought us It's All Because (The Gays Are Getting Married), Oded Gross now has this funny music video.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The “Tuscan initiative”, sponsored by Italy's equal opportunities ministry, promotes a billboard advertising campaign which uses a photo of a baby to express its message concerning homosexuality.
My question as a gay man and gay therapist is, "What is wrong with considering babies and children as gay or lesbian?"
The article is about the Vatican objecting to an ad against discrimination of homosexuality showing a baby wearing a hospital bracelet.
The hospital bracelet worn by the newborn bears the French word
"homosexuel" in the place where the child’s name would normally be placed to
tell the waiting world of his or her identity. The campaign slogan is
orientation is not a choice."
The Vatican and others are criticizing it including a gay man himself:
Yet, Gianni Vattimo, well known postmodern philosopher, a self professed
homosexual, is critical of the advertising campaign. In an interview with
daily "Corriere della Sera"newspaper he questioned the idea that
is genetic. As for the billboard campaign, he said "The
initiative is in bad
taste, in fact they've made a mess of it."
The reason anyone would think this is in bad taste is that no one likes to think of children as already being homosexual and later coming out as gay.
My thoughts are that it is because when people hear the word gay they only hear gay adult sex. They don't consider homosexuality as anything other than sexual. But when we think of children being straight we don't think of them in adult sexuality terms. We think of them being romantic and cute with opposite gender peers and teachers.
"Do you have a crush on Mrs. T?" we ask a kindergarten boy.
"Do you like Bobby in class?" we ask the first grade girl.
This usually means something romantic and sweet not sexual! So why do people think of gay children as sexual and not sweet?
What do people think of this? Why is this?
Friday, October 26, 2007
" In Germany they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I
wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up
wasn't a Jew. Then They came for the trade unionists, and I didn't
because I wasn't a trade unionists. Then they came for the
Catholics and I
didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came
after me- and by that
time NO ONE WAS LEFT TO SPEAK UP."
Pastor Martin Niemoller
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Dumbledore is gay.
Now that Dumbledore is out of the closet in a children's book, what are people going to do?
This is an important conversation people are going to be having openly gay characters in a children's book.
The question is, "What is wrong with that?"
How can this affect children in any other way than positive? I hope the debate starts a conversation around the world that it is okay for children not only to know about and be around homosexuality but that it is okay if they are gay too.
Children struggling with whether or not they might be gay or have parents who are gay and even just hearing about others who are gay will now have a positive reference to consider.
The worst I can see happening? That homophobia starts falling away with this young generation reading children's books that include homosexuality.
Harry Potter fans' favorite magical, wand-wielding headmaster is gay, says the series' author, and as it turns out, many bookworms don't love him any less because of it.
Parents around the country told ABCNEWS.com that when their children heard the news that professor Albus Dumbledore — who was also Potter's mentor — was gay, most of them shrugged it off. To read more go to Dumbledore is gay
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
I just loved it as it reflects the darkness that turns into light for our couples. It certainly has happened for Mike and me. This really spoke to me.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of
carnations the first shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as
the plant that never blooms
but carries itself the light of hidden
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the
earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or
when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or
So I love you because I know no other way.
where I do not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
In the Jewish Religion it is Rosh Hashana which means "a new year". I invite everyone to use this time to renew and refresh your lives as I do each Jewish New Year.
Here is a funny youtube about Rosh Hashanah.
Warmly, Joe Kort
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
The author talks about the discrimination couples face when one partner is more attractive than the other partner. While this article is in jest, it also should be taken seriously in terms of the prejudice that exists for these couples.
I've been in a mixed marriage for a decade and a half now and gotten used to the stares and nudges. I've even developed a couple of airy responses to the inevitable comments that arise from co-workers and friends along the lines of "Um, your husband is so hot..." Sometimes I go with "Oh, that's not my husband--that's my twin brother," and other times a dismissive "Yeah, but back in Australia I'm considered a great beauty. It's Nicole Kidman who's the hag." Each time, it hurts just a little less.
Like so many in my situation, I didn't mean to intermarry. It wasn't that I had ideas above my station; it was just that I was young and naive enough to think love would conquer all. Also, to be perfectly frank, I didn't think he was that hot. That's what makes this type of discrimination particularly insidious: it's not clear that couples have transgressed against hotness-equality laws until they're already married.
Nobody minds if you date outside your tribe, and people applaud an ambitious play for the hubba-hubba human across the room, but--as my brothers and sisters in the gay community have found--there's a world of difference between what people will accept in the innocent suburbs of hooking up and the judgmental metropolis of marriage.There is even an Urban Dictionary definition.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Elizabeth Hasselbeck from "The View" makes some great points about why gays should be able to marry.
1. For the children.
Children deserve a couple in a committed relationship.
Did you know that in Michigan and some other states, you cannot adopt as a gay couple. You have to adopt as a single person. If people insist on two parents than how could can this be logical that as a lesbian or gay person you cannot be a couple to adopt a child? Insane!
2. For hospital rights and visitations.
Did you know that if you are not legally married you do not have rights within a hospital setting to be in the room with the patient because you are not family.
3. Marriage is a covenant between two people.
4. Civil Unions only provide a certain amount of rights.
The couple does not receive the 1300 and more Federal rights that heterosexuals have. If one partner dies there will not be social security benefits of the other because that is a Federal law privilege not a civil law one.
THANK YOU Elizabeth.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Don’t panic. This is actually a good thing. He’s seeing you as someone who might stick around for a while, and he’s ready to gauge how you fit with the pieces already in place (i.e., his social circle). But that’s also precisely why it’s very important to make a good impression at this juncture in your relationship.
With that in mind, we’ve gathered some expert and real-people advice to help you sail through that first friend meet-up. Read on to learn more.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
On the Birds and Bees:
Royal Oak psychotherapist Joe Kort adds that if parents are uncomfortable with their own sexual feelings, they are going to be uncomfortable with their kids.“They don’t want to see their child as sexual,” Kort says.
Royal Oak psychotherapist Joe Kort says that throughout history, masturbation has been associated with shame, guilt and all-out fear. “You’ll go blind!” was a common threat, as parents slapped chastity belts and other medieval contraptions on their children to prevent them from the sinful act of “spilling their seed.”
(I am reminded of the joke where the father says to his little boy, "Don't masturbate you will go blind" and the boy responds, "Can I do it until I need glasses?"
On Having Gay Children:
“You can really end up making them feel they don’t belong,” says Kort, warning that the more disapproving you are, the more you’ll damage their self-worth and send them into hiding. “Often a child will turn to the Internet, pushing them to do dangerous behavior,” Kort warns. He says that gay teens can be vulnerable to sex abusers because they have no one else to talk to. He recommends if parents feel uncomfortable, or cannot discuss the topic in a respectful manner, they should seek out assistance, such as family counseling or a sex education class.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
In August, 1995 my partner, Mike, and I purchased a Welsh terrier. At the time, we’d been together for two years and lived together for seven months. As we were nesting, we thought a dog would be a good way to start a family together. Mike is allergic to dogs with dander, so we had to stick with breeds that have no dander, and terriers were one of those.
I understand their thinking as gays and lesbians as well as those in 12-step recovery programs ask therapists if they are gay or in recovery for their need to know the therapist knows something about their situation.
My practice has always been--and still is--65% heterosexual. The reason is that I specialize in imago therapy, sexual addiction, sexual abuse and over time receive heterosexual referrals from clients.
I also receive referrals of straight male clients who want to address sexual issues and feel that because I am gay I will understand. While I do understand sexual issues it is dangerous to believe it is only because I am gay.
There are plenty of unqualified gay therapists who say they be of help and are inadequate. While I have had to address my own sexuality more closely because of my homosexuality, my expertise with sexual issues comes from my professional training.
So, yes I see straight people and welcome any and all referrals.